The 3 Mouseketeers

Blind Mouse
3 Blind Mice
Yerba Loca Hike
Hiking along the river
Eating some lunch

The only thing scary about this Halloween weekend was how few people appreciated how awesome my costume was. Chile doesn’t really “do” Halloween. They do, however, get Monday off. Mainly because Chile will use literally any excuse to have a Monday off. They started celebrating Halloween just a very short while ago, so it has yet to reach its full potential. There are no haunted houses, and dressing up is just for kids and North Americans who still think they are in a sorority or fraternity. Even though we all knew this to be true, my friends and I celebrated Halloween the only way we know how: with beer and without inhibitions. Thank god for “California Cantina”, Santiago’s gringo bar, and therefore designated Halloween mecca. Jackie, Carly, and I decided to sport group costumes this year. The best part about our costumes? They cost us under a dollar. Friday morning, we ventured to Estacion Central (home of the worlds largest collection of junk you don’t need). After roaming the street designated to party stores, we finally found what we had been searching for….plastic mouse ears. Throw on some shades, black spandex, and eyeliner and whala! 3 Blind Mice! Too bad that Chileans have absolutely never heard this nursery rhyme. The closest thing I got to someone “getting” my costume was “from Shrek?!” Yes. We decided to dress up as characters from Shrek that are in the movie for under 10 seconds…This reaction was far better than the “OMG 3 Minnie Mouses!!!!” that we got on more than one occasion (this was at the American bar by the way). I even remember being photographed with 2 actual Minnie Mouses because “OMG we are all Minnie Mouse!!!!!” Lets just do a quick review of famous mice. Minnie Mouse wears a dress. She is not blind. She also wears a bow. And she’s lame. Not to mention that there is only one of her. Either way, I thought our costumes were pretty clever and Halloween was an overall success.

During the actual day of Halloween, before la fiesta, Carly, Fro, Nico (aka Nico Suave and/or Mogly) and his friend Marsal, went hiking through Yerba Loca (a park 40 minutes outside Santiago.) Before going on the hike all I knew was that it was about 10 miles and for the most part it was flat. Unlucky for Carly, both of these statements were 100% false. It was actually 20 miles in total, and Nico played it pretty fast and loose with the word “flat.” Carly was working with about 4 hours of sleep and gets motion sickness like nothing I’ve ever seen. About ½ way up the mountain, Carly looks at me with the saddest eyes I ever seen and says “I just want to throw up but I can’t.” Good thing for her, making people puke is a specialty of mine (Mom, if you are reading this out loud to Dad you can go ahead and insert something about my face making you throw up here.) I find that if I just pretend to vomit really loudly around people that already feel sick, I can immediately induce a throw-up response. So there we were on the side of the mountain both pretending to throw up until Carly actually did. Not 1 but 3 times. I’m telling you …I’m a pro. Too bad that once someone actually throws up it makes me sick. There was one point where Nico Suave, Carly, and I were all going back and forth dry heaving. Good stuff. I couldn’t think of a better way to start a 20-mile hike…except maybe getting your shoes soaking wet 2 minutes in. Check. Oh well. Its not like we lost the boys, got off track and hiked through a swamp full of cow crap instead of taking the dry, practically paved (or at the very least, cow crap free) path or anything…. It was well worth the pain though. The hike was incredible.

The Miner Leagues

Grilling out for Casey's Birthday!
Baby Miner
Los Mineros!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Out of place
Sad attempt at a crowd. It got bigger but not until 11:00. Too little too late Chile.

Let’s be honest. The miners’ 15 minutes are up. Fro and I went to La Moneda (Chile’s equivalent of the White House) to welcome the miners to Santiago this morning. Los 33, the president, and the capsule used to rescue the miners were all in the exact same place. By North American standards…this should be a pretty big deal. I don’t think that the Chileans could have possibly cared any less. The miners were rumored to show up at 10 am. Years of Buffet tailgates and riding roller coasters at Great America have taught me that anything worth waiting for usually involves a huge line. That, on top of the fact that Chileans love lines (there is a 2 line minimum to buy a beer in this country), led me to believe we would be in for a doozy. Fro and I arrived to La Moneda at 8:30 am, fearing that an hour and a half early wouldn't be enough. Imagine our surprise when we arrived to a completely empty field. I am pretty sure more people attended my high school's debate team championship. By the time the miners arrived the crowd had grown to roughly 200 people and had the enthusiasm of a bunch of people who just found out that their pets had to be put to sleep. It was largely comprised of pharmacy protesters (which, by the way, is completely unrelated to the miners and just a strange coincidence that they chose to be at La Moneda the same day), several Asian tourists, and Chileans who hadn’t gotten the memo that the miners were sooo last week. Even so, Fro and I were as excited as ever. We arrived in our work clothes and left decked out in patriotic paper visors, mini flags, and a poster, making us prime models for the press. We were photographed by almost everyone at the event who had a camera. The camera loves us. And we love attention. I didn’t even know how much l loved attention until people started taking so many pictures of us. It was like some sort of terrible reflex. We'd see a camera in the distance and immediately start some sort of awkward chant. Worked like a charm. The crowd shaped up for when the miners left La Moneda (although I think they just wanted to get on TV.) We were even able to take some pictures that make it appear as though there were tons of people there. I’m sure the press did the same. All things considered, it was definitely the best worst pep rally I have ever been to. I'm a sucker for a good patriotic paper visor.

Oops She Did It Again

At Santiago's Cemetery
Celebrating the miners!!!
Check out how artistic I am
Me and my conversation buddy, Nico
Fro "not singing" karaoke

One of the things I love about my friends here is their shared ability to say one thing and mean the complete opposite. Take for example when I call one of them to see what the plans for the night are. When I hear, “I’m really tired, I think I’m just going to take it easy tonight”, I immediately know to get a nap in because it’s going to be a long night. Or for example, when Carly says that she is a non-smoking vegetarian…. with a huge chunk of steak in one hand and a cigarette in the other. However, I think the best example of people saying one thing and meaning the complete opposite is Fro when it comes to karaoke. If there is one thing that you should know about Fro it is that she loves singing karaoke. Can’t get enough of it. Yet every time the idea of karaokeing gets brought up (99% of the time she’s the one bringing it up) she has the exact same response: “I love watching but I don’t ever sing.” This weekend was no exception. Saturday night my friends from work threw an unofficial BridgeLinguitec Mexican themed party. One thing led to another, and Fro rallied the troops to go to the gay biker karaoke bar down the street. I was not surprised when I overheard her telling everyone that she definitely won’t sing, but just wants to watch everyone else. I do have to hand it to her though. Fro kept up this charade for quite a while. I almost believed that she might not dominate the karaoke stage like only Fro knows how. Oh contraire. Not even two notes into our group attempt at singing “Don’t Stop Believin’” who came rushing to center stage, microphone in hand belting out the lyrics with the expertise of someone who has practiced endless hours in the mirror? Fro did. I left the bar at around 4:30, while Fro was still there anxiously waiting to sing her third karaoke song of the night. When I confronted Fro about her “lying about karaoke” habit, she responded that she only sings karaoke in groups when she has been drinking. Basically the only two requirements for going to a karaoke bar in the first place.

Speaking of “Don’t Stop Believin’”…how ‘bout those miners?! (see how I tied everything together…pretty impressive right?) It was amazing being in Chile for the feel good story of the century. I was however, a little surprised by the mixed reactions here. There is no question that everyone was thrilled. The amount of patriotism and national pride was inspirational: flags everywhere and cars honking their horns for hours on end. Even so, a surprising amount of Chileans felt that this story got too much press and that the president used it as a way to launch his approval ratings. Too much press?! 33 people were trapped underground for 68 days and lived to tell the tale!!! If that doesn’t deserve press time…I don’t know what does. And I thought using newsworthy events to increase popularity was part of the job description for being president. All I know is that I know absolutely nothing about Chilean politics. But am 100% fine with any event in which I can yell “Chi Chi Chi Le Le Le” 33 times in a row while wearing red, white, and blue face paint.

Thursday Night Fever

Pig head
Caitlin and I having soup, bread, pebre, and a delicious meal for under 2 luca. Only at La Vega.

Best produce in the world

Reading in the park
Typical night out

Well its official. My life here is a joke. My work-week is only 13 hours and somehow I mustered up the nerve to call in sick for my Friday morning class. Turns out I had a fever and the only cure was more dancing. My boss seemed less than pleased...so I made sure to take an extra shot or 4 to make sure I was super hungover and sounded sick just incase he called me the next day. Between the allergies and the hangover, I really sold it. Thursday night Jackie, Carly, Fro and I went out with some of our friends from Bicentenario weekend. It was the perfect way to kick off the long weekend (as luck would have it, Chris Columbus discovered South America too…who knew?!) In true Bicentenario form, I drank too much, ate too much, and fended off insults for a good portion of the night. You’ll be happy to hear that instead of calling me Steph Nash, I was just referred to as ‘Amish’ the entire night. As in: “Hey Amish, sorry I said you were boring and had a big ass. I take back the boring part.” Thanks. I think? One of the best things about this country is that it has got hangovers down. First of all, Santiago sleeps in until about 1 pm on weekends. So I hear…I’ve never been out of bed before 1 to actually confirm this. Second, there are empanadas on almost every corner. Empanadas are the best thing to happen to the hangover since the Big Mac with supersized fries. They are a vegetarians dream. Fried dough stuffed with cheese? Yes please. What’s that? They only cost a dollar? I’ll take 5. I don’t think its any surprise that I spent my Friday morning sleeping in, being too hungover to go to my hair appointment, and eating empanadas instead of going to work.

In other news, it’s finally spring in Santiago and the weather couldn’t be more perfect. And the best part? For the next 4 months it will just keep getting warmer. Just like in Chicago (oh wait…) My Spanish continues to steadily improve thanks to my three conversation buddies. I meet once a week with Vairon (from Hondoras), Maria (from Columbia) and Nico (from Chile), who are all working on improving their English. We spend an hour speaking in English and an hour in Spanish, usually over beers, food, or while walking through one of Santiago’s many gorgeous parks. Pretty sweet gig. The rest of my time is spent hanging out with friends, dancing, eating or some combination of the three. No complaints.

Steve Nash Does Bicentenario

At the club on Thursday night (Mariella, Me, Jackie, Carly)
Dream Team
Breakfast
The Crew (Jackie, Christian, Mariella, Carly, Ruben, Louis)
Making frat houses look normal

5 days, 8 ½ empanadas, an entire cow, and copious amounts of alcohol later…we did it! We survived Chile’s 200^th birthday… barely. This past weekend took fun to a new level. Carly, Jackie, Louis, and I took off for La Serena Thursday night and returned Monday morning as mere shells of our former healthy selves. We arrived to La Serena around 10:30, where we were greeted with piscolas, appetizers, and our crew for the weekend (Christian, Ruben, Kike, Mariella, and Claudio). Somewhere around 8:30 in the morning, after a night of toasting Chile and dancing, we arrived straight from the bar to our house in Guanaqueros (aka: wannagetthose). Little known fact about 8:30 in the morning: it’s the perfect time to have a barbeque, even more perfect if you haven’t slept at all. So there we were barbequing …beers in hand...at 8:30 in the morning. I think this is when I knew I was in for a good weekend. After a short 4-hour nap, we started what I like to refer to as an “endless day 2.” In actuality 4 days passed, however; I think we can all agree it felt like just one long and glorious day. Maybe it’s the fact that we did the same thing every day. Or that Jackie and Carly refused to shower for 3 days. Or the fact that we never once got out of our sweats (not entirely true, since I seem to recall an entire hour on Sunday where Kike refused to drink in anything other than his boxers that he had been wearing since Thursday.) Either way, you get the point. Our days passed as follows: wake up, drink a beer, drink some piscolas, get empanadas and wine, walk around for an hour with a beer before deciding to nap at home or at the beach, hour long nap, wake up, asado (BBQ), more beers, piscolas, asado, more drinking, more asados, sleep, repeat. In other words…we were living the dream. Despite feeling like it was one long day, I have managed to separate the actual days by several key events.

Friday: The day Carly caved.

Carly has been a vegetarian for over 3 years and hasn’t eaten red meat for over 9. Carly and I quickly realized that if we were going to survive this weekend, something was going to have to give. I had no problems. I was making this weekend my September “meating.” I rationed that since I didn’t get a full night’s sleep at any point this weekend, it was okay to extend my meating for 4 days. Carly, not wanting to be left out…decided to try one bite of meat. Despite claiming that she felt a little sick after one bite...she trucked on. An entire cow and the better part of a pig later, I looked at Carly with meat blood on her face, and knew that we would be friends for a very long time. Carly and I continued to eat more meat than I thought was humanly possible. Carly….I think you are good on protein for another 9 years. Goodbye morals…see you on Tuesday.

Meat: 1 Carly: 0

Saturday: The day Kike fought the law and the law won, Jackie punched the Governor in the face, and Steve Nash entered the building.

Somewhere between morning empanadas and naptime, Kike got arrested…for yelling into a street cone. Don’t ask. Even better than Kike getting arrested, was that not even an hour earlier he was telling everyone for the 20^th time that he was a lawyer. I think I heard him say the phrase “I am the law” just as many times. I’ve got to hand it to him though, upon being released, he was completely unphased that he had just been arrested and his only concern was more beer.

Law: 1 Kike: 0.

Fast-forward about 8 hours, and the governor of La Serena shows up at our lake house…only to get punched in the face by Jackie. In her defense, he didn’t look like a governor to me. He was 30 years old and had the face of a 20 year old. Apparently Jackie does not take kindly to being lied to. After arguing with him for no more than 5 minutes that he couldn’t possibly be the governor, she just let her fist do the talking. Turns out he WAS the governor. Oops.

La Serena: 1 Jackie: 0

Meanwhile, out of nowhere Rafa showed up at our lake house. Rafa has got dance moves that would make any former boy bander extremely jealous. I’ve never seen someone sing the backstreet boys so precisely and with so much passion. I had never met Rafa before, and the first thing he does is point to me and say “Oh look…Steve Nash.” Excuse you? He was convinced that I looked strikingly similar to Steve Nash, basketball player extraordinaire. If you don’t know who Steve Nash is…stop reading this and Google it right now. It’s not pretty. Not only did Rafa continue to call me Steve Nash the entire night but also every time I would so much as look his way he would pretend to do a fade away. The worst part is that this name caught on like wildfire. By end of the weekend I had accumulated so many insults that it’s amazing my self-esteem is still intact. Lets see…. we had: Rafa calling me Steve Nash, someone else told me I had a big butt but in a good way (gee..thanks) , “Are you Amish?”, “You drool a lot”, and “Did you know that you snore?” and I’m sure I am forgetting some.

Life: 1 Me: 0

Sunday: The day we drove 2 hours to see Pisco Elqui in the dark

Sleep and water deprived, we made the decision to drive to Pisco Elqui at around 7 pm. Pisco Elqui is one of the most beautiful places in all of Chile and it was rumored to have an awesome Fonda (typical Chilean party for the 18^th.) Once we arrived we realized that we were falling apart. We sat in a plaza, danced some Cueca, and turned right back around. Just a tip: daylight and sobriety are necessary to appreciate Pisco Elqui’s beauty. Well maybe not sobriety but definitely daylight. Unfortunately, I think our bodies already knew what our hearts had not yet figured out… this weekend was coming to a close.

Pisco Elqui: 1 Us: 0

So there it is Chile. You may have won the battle but you have not won the war. The Dream Team will be back. Dieciocho 2011 anybody?

Toothless in Santiago

Really?
Elias aka "Kush" or "Kooch" (still with teeth) and I at "La Piojera"
Casey, Caitlin (my roommate), and Kate...3 of my good friends here!
Jackie, Carly, and I at "La Piojera" If this bar doesn't scream classy to you...I don't know what does.
Busting some serious moves

If I had a dollar for every time a friend of mine chipped both their front teeth during a mosh pit at a 18 piece Chilean marching band concert….I would officially have one dollar. My friends and I went to go see “Banda Comocion” last night at a salsatecha in Bellavista. “Banda Comocion” does it all. This 20 piece marching band came equip with gaudy costumes, singers that could have doubled as soap opera actors, trumpets, symbols, and dancing. Perfection. The concert was supposed to start at 11…so naturally the band didn’t come on until close to 1. Needless to say, us gringas were at the bar at 10:30. Jackie, Carly, and I were three of about 25 people in the bar at the time the concert was supposed to start. Fast forward to an hour later and the crowd had done a complete 180. The bar was PACKED. Elias, Zach, and Dustin met us just in time for the live music to start. What started out as some good ol’ fashion dancing quickly turned into a full out moshpit. Apparently this was Elias’s first moshpit because he made the rookie mistake of taking a sip out of his bottle of beer mid mosh. A mistake I am fairly sure he will never make again. Someone knocked the bottle into his mouth and chipped his 2 front teeth. I repeat….Elias lost the better part of his two front teeth in a moshpit at a marching band concert. But if anyone asks….someone was trying to steal Carly’s purse and Elias stepped in. You should see the other guy. Incase you are worrying that this ruined the rest of our night….don’t. Minus the endless photo opportunities that Elias’s new dental status provided us, the end of the night was pretty standard and full of much more dancing followed by delicious late night food courtesy of Santiago’s finest street vendors.

In other news, everyone will be happy to know that I am absolutely not letting work get in the way of my good time. I am loving my job but sometimes you just have to prioritize. Chile has a huge holiday coming up that has been described to me as 4^th of July only crazier and longer (I am pretty sure that everyone who knows me knows that I love any excuse to be excessively patriotic)….and this year it is the 200 year anniversary. I am getting excited just typing this! Everyone has a 4 day weekend so Jackie, Carly, and I have decided to go up to La Serena. The only problem? We are leaving the city at 5 and I have a class that starts at 6. Not to worry. Never underestimate the power of confusion. I had a quick and to the point conversation with my class that went as follows:

Me: I’m guessing that most of you will not want to have class the Thursday before Bicentenario?

Class: No, its fine. We are all planning on being here.

Me: So what I’m hearing is that the class is a little divided. Do you think we should go ahead and cancel it?

Class: It’s not a problem for us to be here. We have to be here anyways.

Me: You’re right. It’s probably better just to reschedule it for another day. Nelly…I’m going to need you to go ahead and call Bridge (my company) and let them know that you guys want to reschedule.

La Serena here I come!!!!

Mo Money Mo Pizza

Some trees
A picture that says 1000 words
Me, Elias, Jackie, and Carly at Concha y Toro (vineyard)
Obviously being a shell and bulls

Two months after moving here and I can finally say that things are all coming together for me! Work is in full swing (if you consider a 12 hour work week full swing), I’ve started doing yoga again, I’ve been pushing myself to speak more Spanish, and I have made some great friends. Life is good. A highlight of this last week was going out with friends from work to “La Piojera”. “La Piojera” (translation: “Lice”) is a very Chilean bar that is famous for its ‘terremotos’. Terremotos (earthquakes) are made of fermented white wine, black liquor, and pineapple icecream. What’s not to love? Needless to say, when you go to “La Piojera” …anything goes. What was supposed to be a relatively tame night out with a few new friends quickly turned into a night of debauchery. After a couple of terremotos everyone just seemed to click. Our group consisted of 5 people from work (Carly, Jackie, Zach, Dustin, and Elias), 5 Chilean friends of Carly and Jackie…and Joe…a British traveler who loved to hand out 40 dollar tips like it was nobody’s business. There’s something about British people that is so refreshing to me. Maybe it’s the accent. Or their pessimistic/sarcastic humor. Or the fact that in South America…they may be the only people worse at dancing than I am. Needless to say, Joe quickly became my partner in crime for the night. After the “La Piojera” and a lot of trouble getting to the metro, we caught the last train and went to a house party where we started dropping like flies. Any by dropping like flies…I mean getting kicked out. We lost one Chilean to not being able to stand up without being held, and we lost Zach to an unfortunate peeing on the wall incident. Lesson learned…drink terremotos with caution.

Arguably the best part about this night was the next morning. I know it’s hard to believe…but you actually don’t make that much money working as an English teacher. So it has become my morning ritual after a night out to check my wallet to see just how much money I spent. I went out on Friday with 6 luca and when I woke up…I had 20!!!!!! A miracle! During one of Joe’s tipping rampages I grabbed his 20 and told him that I would tip instead (because I had smaller bills). He insisted that I keep the 20-luca tip or give it to the cab driver and proceeded to drop it on the ground. I think I tried to give it back to him for about .005 seconds before I decided who am I to argue?… I should just keep it. And keep it I did. I don’t’ even feel bad about it! What I do feel bad about is the fact that it took me all of 20 minutes the next morning to spend ALL OF IT. In my hungover state I called Fro and ordered her to come get a huge pizza with me because “I’m RICH!” When telling Fro the story of how I came about such riches, I mentioned that Gary would be so proud because I used the Law of Attraction. For anyone not familiar with the law of attraction it works like so: I had been worrying about money, vividly pictured myself having money, and attracted money! Fro’s response? “Are you trying to tell me that your Dad will be proud of you for STEALING?” Yes Fro. Yes I am. Well 20 minutes, one huge pizza, and 15 luca later I was broke again. I guess it was fun while it lasted.